What March Means

You know how there are some parts of a year that just mean a lot to you? 

March is like that for me. (and yes this post was supposed to be for March) :)

Looking back over the years to what has happened in that month is sweet. Some joy, Some hard times, questions, tears, sorrow, delight, pain, and lots of love.

March 25th- the beginning of spring was also when I was reborn - into the family of God as a little five year old. I don't remember a lot, and I would say that my more significant change that God was Lord of my life happened when I was twelve, but mom did say I did change after that. I remember wanting to read the Bible. And  when I got a thrift store Bible every so often, I always began in Genesis, even if I had already worked my way to 1 Kings!

Of course, my little sister was born in March - remember the event of her coming home from the hospital. That was the beginning of a great friendship. 

Fast forward 16 years - It was March 25th, 2008- cousin Jesse's wedding to Heidi - a special day, and though I knew "he" was coming for a causal visit, I had no idea that this second meeting would lead to my own wedding day. 

It was the day I re-met James.

(the picture was taken the next day)

Little tiny feet. What does those tiny toes mean? I see them every Sunday - as they're stuck inside my Sunday Bible case as memorial. 

Because two years after marriage, and after we were blessed with Katie, we were going to have our second and quite excited. I was 13 weeks along, when the miscarriage began. It was like a mini birth, and when it was over, I held my baby - with such grief and a broken heart. The  fingers and toes were so, so small. But so cute. I just recently looked at some of the pictures we had taken of our baby, with that bittersweet sadness. We're holding our little Yachal in our palms, so fragile, and never to see our faces here. 

But then there's heaven. 

Little Katelyn at her Auntie Bonnie's grave and where we buried little Yachal.

Dear friend Steph, gave me the first set of those feet pins after I lost my baby - which meant so much to me. She had lost a baby too, and shares in my hard times. The second set was given after our second miscarriage in between Erik and Laura a couple years later. 

For me to have something tangible like these pins, when your arms are empty when losing a baby, is so important . An old woman in our church gave me a pink knitted blanket, which I slept with under my pillow for the first while. You just need something to hold. 

A dear friend has given me flowers almost every year to remember Yachal's death.... and it's because of a special connection we have on March 10-11th.... because as I had just lost this baby, she was going in to labor with her first girl, after four boys. And she remembers my sadness in her joys. 

Then there was a gift for me a few years later.

Sweet Amy was born right around the time we lost Yachal a few years earlier.
 Another memory for March. 

Now, we're at this year - where some weeks ago,  we found out that yes, #5 was coming!

Excited, we did this whole five finger thing right after we found out. Ahh! Hooray for five!!
And then - once more, a week later God brought that babe to heaven. Our third.

It truly is the Lord who giveth and taketh. He's given me so much,  and I know that these losses are small in the grand scheme of life - and each must have a purpose. It must. And the joys received are absolutely amazing.
So lots to think on and praise God for...
...in March.